It's Not the Real Me
by malfoysdaughter
Summary: When Daryl is alone after the fight with Carol, he let's his mind wander to what his life was like before the Dead were taking over.


**Title**: It's Not the Real Me

**Rating**: M! M! M!

**Fandom**: The Walking Dead

**Pairings: **DarylxOC

**Genre**: Drama, horror, dark, sad, has some romance.

**Wordcount**: 6,431

**Warnings**: LOTS OF CUSSING AND FOUL LANGUAGE! Also this does have a rather sad scene towards the end.

**Summary**: Daryl remembers his life before the dead began to take over after the words he flung at Carol.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own ANY of the characters. They belong to the great AMC people and the creator of the comic. I DO NOT OWN THEM! I do own Holly, and Sam.

**AN**: This idea came to me after seeing the rage filled rant Daryl has after the barn incident.

The moon crawled its way across the clear Georgia sky as the man under it stared into the flames before him. The woman had came to talk to him again, leaving him confused, angry and more than anything, empty. Biting his lower lip, Daryl once more picked up the water bottle next to him. He wanted something stronger, but wasn't about to look for it. His feelings warred within him as he watched the flames eat the logs like starving animals. It was like they were echoing his emotions as he finally rose to slip into his tent.

Why was Carol so determined to stay next to him? Sure, they had become consumed with the search for Sophia more than the others, but he had had his own reasons. Emotions threatened to chocked him as he sat down on his sleeping bag. There was no way he was going to tell them why. He was simply going to let them all think it was because she had been a child and that was all. But the words he had shouted earlier at the woman rang in his ears. "Sophia wasn't mine!" It was only true, but he had come to realize that it wasn't just because she was a child that he had been so determined to save her. "All you had to do was keep an eye on her!" That was the one that hurt the most. If only it hadn't happened the way it had. If he hadn't have left the room before all this happened and just stayed with them. Shaking, he lay down and tried to let the songs of the woods lull him to sleep. He hated when his mind wandered back to memories that were better left off dead.

Closing his eyes he could feel them tugging at the corners of his mind, begging to be acknowledged. Fighting them off as if they were a Walker, he tried to calm his mind. It was like this every time that damn woman would leave after they talked. Ever so slowly it was becoming clear to him she was falling for him, but he knew he would never return the feelings. His heart had already locked itself away from ever loving again after /_her_/. Just the thought of /_her/ _had him almost curling up in a ball like he was a child. Jerking up, Daryl gave up on getting any sleep that night and simply settled on watching the shadows of the dying fire play across his tent walls.

The sounds of the night closed in on him, and he wondered what he had become. Shoving others away just as he became closer to them. A part of him whispered that he knew why and that /she/ was the reason why. It was all /her/ fault that he felt like he did.

"Holly…" He whispered, swallowing down the choking urge to sob like a child. A flash of lively, vibrant hazel eyes made its way across his memory as he spoke the name. Daryl succumbed to the flood of memories finally as he sat there.

-It had been five years before the whole "dead are walking" had happened that he had met her. It was as clear now as it if it had just happened. He had been out with his friends celebrating his thirty-third birthday at the local bar when she had literally fallen into his life. For the first half of the night, the bar had been semi contained in its celebration. He had spotted a few likely women to drag home and had been trying his luck, but it was nothing compared to what his brother was doing. Luckily, he had managed to avoid the women that Daryl himself was watching. If Merle had known the ones he was after, he'd have chased their tails just to spite his little brother. One of them was a rather unlikely case, her dirty blonde hair loose and cascading around her shoulders, stopping where the shoulder blades did. She was freckled, faintly tanned and had a body that had him shifting in his seat half the night. From what he observed, she was energetic, always laughing and moving with her friends to and from the dance floor. But as Daryl finally went to make his move, Merle had finally crossed a very fine line with one of the other patrons when he had hit on a slim blonde.

Her rather large boyfriend had made it clear with his fists that he didn't approve of what the druggie had been doing to his girl. Merle had gone down like a ton of bricks, just as the girl had been trying to escape the crowd that had formed. Blood was pouring from his brother's broken nose, and as Daryl reached him, he watched as "Bubbly" had seen the blood. Her face rapidly went from tan to ghost white and she swallowed hard once before her knees gave out. With the speed of a rattlesnake, Daryl had caught her. He could feel her body trembling in his grasp, as she kept her eyes closed. "Please…please just…I want out." The pleading whisper had reached his ears over the clamor of the crowd and the music blasting from the speakers as she leaned on him. Suddenly, he found himself torn. Did he help her out of the bar and take a chance, or should he just dump her to help his bleeding brother. Merle was unsteadily trying to climb to his feet, barking orders to his little brother to help him up as the next words floated to his ears.

"Get me out of here." Stronger this time. Gritting his teeth, he didn't look back as he left the bar with her in his arms.

"What the hell was that about?" The words tumbled from his mouth in an uncouth heap as the door closed behind them, almost killing the noise. She had shaken her head, trying stand on her own.

"Nothing you would understand."

"Oh really? Looks to me like you're gonna be sick."

"And your point is?" she quipped.

"No one gets sick at a simple broken nose."

"Seems you missed a lesson in phobias."

"A what? Is that some horrible disease?" He had remarked sarcastically. Things were falling apart faster than he had to try his luck.

"No. A phobia is something someone is scared of." She replied, speaking to him as if he were a small child. It was unbelievable as she did, seeming so much younger than he was.

"So…what? You're a pansy when it comes to fights?"

This had that bright gaze locked on him, the eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you serious? You help me out of the bar, you stare at me all night and this is your attitude?" She challenged. "Hicks, you're all the same." She muttered, crossing her arms.

"I ain't a fucking hick." He spat.

"Could have fooled…" She was cut off as the door burst open and Merle stepped out. His hand covered his face as tried to stop the bleeding. Daryl watched as once more her face suddenly when white. Piece fell into place as she spun away from his brother.

"What the fuck was that about you pussy! I was asking for your help and this is what I get? You run off after some tail?" He snapped, slamming the door behind him. "Next fucking time actually fucking help me."

"Aren't you the older one here? You can take care of yourself."

"What?" Merle's voice became low and dangerous.

"Nothing. Look just go home and sleep it off. You'll be fine in the morning."

"Fuck it. Nothing here anyway worth trying for. Unless you're done with this one?" He asked, slipping up to the girl as she stood facing the road. "Hey there pretty lady. How about you come home with a real man?" He asked. Something had lifted its scaly head and snarled inside of Daryl as he watched his brother run a hand down the girl's arm.

She jerked away from him. "Get lost. You are so far from my type it's not even funny." She tried to be strong, but Daryl could hear the waver in her voice.

"Aww what's wrong sweet ass? You sure I can't convince you otherwise?" The closer his blood drenched, booze soaked brother got to her, the more she buckled at the knees.

"Call me that again and it'll be more than a broken nose." She rasped in reply.

"Ohh! A fiery one! I like it!" He cackled. One small fist shot out blindly, connecting with the scruffy cheek. "Shit! You fucking crazy bitch!"

"I told you back off."

"What the fuck is your problem? Can't even fucking look at me! What, are you to stuck up for your own good honey? Need me to knock that stick out of your ass?"

"Enough. Merle go the fuck home before you get into more shit. Just back the fuck off and leave her be." Daryl finally interjected. Making his way over to her, he studied her pale face. Fright was clear in her eyes as he watched her.

"Whatever. Look I ain't letting you in the fucking house you little snot nosed baby." With that, his older brother finally left. As his bike roared to life, her knees gave way.

"Whoa! Hey now, what the fuck is wrong with you? Had too much?" He asked, kneeling down.

"Screw you. You're lucky I didn't barf on him."

"Why? I know he's not that good looking and smells a bit but that's just going overboard."

"Blood…just…he was bleeding."

"Blood? You're afraid of blood?" He almost laughed at her, rocking back onto his heels.

"Oh stuff it you insufferable jerk!" Shoving him, she laughed as he landed hard on his ass.

"What the fuck! I didn't deserve that! I just fucking saved your ass you ungrateful bitch!"

"I can see the uncanny family language runs deep in you." For a moment, he couldn't do anything but gape at her. Slowly she looked up to meet his gaze. "Anything else or are you going to patronize me all night?"

"Piss on it. I don't need this shit. Women, you're too much fucking drama." Standing, he started to walk away. Reaching his truck, he turned around to face her. She was still on the ground, head bowed faintly. A part of him pointed out that it wasn't right to just leave her there, while another part said to just screw it and leave. Fighting with himself, he finally caved and marched back over to her. She gave a small scream as he picked her up carefully, making his way back towards the bar. "You're lucky I know better than to leave a woman alone. Where are your friends? Or are you here alone?" He asked, reaching the door.

"Their inside." She replied, clearly confused at his sudden roundabout of temperament. "What the hell crawled up your ass?" She asked.

"Nothing. Just no point in leaving you out here like a dog to die on the side of the road is all."

"I wasn't dying for your information. I just was feeling faint. Can't you tell the difference?"

"Look are we really going to do this all fucking night? First my goddamn brother ruins my birthday, then you suddenly show up and think you're bark is going to save you and now I'm stuck staring at the fucking door holding you."

Suddenly, she giggled. It filled his ears and had him pausing to listen, and aching to make her do it again. "No one said you had to hold me. I can walk on my own Mr…?"

"Daryl." He grunted, almost dropping her.

She shot him a small glare as she brushed herself off. "Daryl. Huh, I don't see you as the "daring' type."

"Like you fucking know me. And I bet your name isn't to your type at all."

"To quote "as if you know me". I'm Holly. And I don't know if I should thank you for the help or tell you to piss off."

"It doesn't matter, I'm gone anyway. This ain't worth the time." He muttered, shrugging.

"So…that's it? After all of that you're letting me go back into the bar?"

"What? You mean that you'd honestly come home with me after all of that bullshit? Just how fucking drunk are you?"

"Beats passing out alone." She grinned, shrugging. "Besides, I'm having too much fun antagonizing you. And I'm not drunk. Your stalking should have shown you I'm one of the DD's tonight. Granted it seems my girls have left me save for two and they also had found men so it seems like yes, you're my ride home."

"Knock it off with the impressive words like I'm some moron. But what makes you think I'm going to keep playing your savior?"

"Ok ok, I'm sorry." She said, raising her hands. "Just how I am. And it's because you keep trying. But I'm going to lay it out flat for you now cowboy. I may love sex, more than most women should actually, but that doesn't mean you're getting a piece of this just because you managed to jump in and help me."

He was taken aback by her bluntness. "Wait what? Let me get this straight. I help you once, and you just assume that I'm going to keep helping you knowing now that I'm not getting any?"

"Yup. Sound fair?"

"Fuck no. You're just lucky that line you fed me about being alone is keeping me here."

"I could go back in right now and pretend we never met if that's what you'd prefer."

She was nothing but a damn confusing, playful destruction machine was what crossed his mind. "Fuck it. Get in the truck."

Laughing, she sauntered over to it. "Besides, it's not like we're going back to your place. Your lovely brother made that clear. So you'll be on my turf."

"Like that fucking matters." He made his way round the cab to unlock the door. Before she could open it, he placed a hand on it. "Hell no. Not until I ask, just how old are you anyway?"

"Twenty-two, going to be twenty-three in a few weeks."

"Not to young then. Had me worried for a moment."

"I doubt you were that worried."

He had driven her home and both had kept true to their word as he simply passed out on the couch while she made her way upstairs. When the sunlight started to stream in, he rolled over to stare at the ceiling. This would be the first time in his life that he had slept over at a woman's house and not left with the dawn, especially after having not gotten any from same woman. But something held him where he lay, keeping him from bolting. The soft sound of footsteps reached his ears as he listened to her quietly slip into the kitchen. A few cupboards were opened, and he could hear a pan being set down on the stove. Sitting up, he scrubbed one hand across his face before rising and sneaking to the doorway. His jaw almost hit the floor as he felt his body react to the sight in front of him.

She was dancing around the kitchen in a long man's t-shirt, a pair of cammo boxers peeking out when she would move too fast for the shirt to keep up with. Softly she sang along with the radio as she moved about the room, unaware he was watching her. Something deep inside of Daryl warmed, shifted as if it were coming to accept something his mind hadn't yet figured out. Whirling around as the chorus of the song came on, Holly ended up screaming and leaping against the counter when she saw him there. "What the fuck Daryl?" She yelped, clutching her chest.

"I thought I heard something so I came to see what it was. Didn't mean to scare you." He replied, walking into the room. "So what's for breakfast?"

After that morning, they had found themselves spending more and more time with each other. He found himself drawn to her, wanting to know more about her every time. She was a waitress and a writer, working on a novel she wouldn't ever show him. She also spoke more than English, prattling on in one language or another when mad. He had laughed at that, shocked she knew so many. She hadn't told him the details as to why she knew so many, but he knew she wanted to travel, and the languages gave her an advantage to the places that she wanted to go. One quirk about her that he couldn't help but find amusing was the fact that she could be fully childish whenever she wanted to be, or dead serious if the situation called for it. No matter what happened, she always kept her cool and let it go. She was also one dirty minded girl. Nothing escaped her perverted mind when she was on a roll, and it usually ended up with him having to think of other things as she talked.

They always met up at her place, always trying to avoid Merle at every turn. Daryl didn't know what brought it on, but one day he finally asked her why. Her eyes narrowed, and she took a deep breath. "Daryl, you're…I don't know what to me right now. I really don't. But I do know this. I can't stand that jackass. He hits on me, treats you like shit and thinks he's a goddamn badass. I'm sorry if I upset you with that, but I couldn't care less about him."

"Not like I really care about it. Yeah, he's my older brother don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean we're close. He's always treated me like that, but it's family duty that keeps me coming back to him and helping. Mom never gave a fuck and Dad took off after I was born, leaving me only with him. Then she died, and I was stuck. I grew up depending more on myself than him, but he was always there if I absolutely needed him." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He had never really spilled much to her about his home life, always content to just listen to her.

"Wow.." She breathed, looking down at the glass of tea in her hands.

"Don't worry about it. It's all in the past. Isn't that what you normally say?" He asked, nudging her.

"Ugh, don't get so hot. I'm about to fucking melt with this heat."

"Tell me about it, and I gotta go to work here soon."

"Have fun with that. Just take care of yourself."

"I will. Holly?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you mean by you don't know what I mean to you?" Never before had a girl ever shown him any attention other than one night stands, and he had never wanted a relationship. But hearing her say that had him taking a pause. She blushed faintly, waving a hand.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it You coming back here after work or do you have to go home?"

"I'll stop by before heading home. I do have shit to do there that I keep putting off."

"Can't help it my ass is always on your mind."

"You know me well."

She laughed, standing and shaking her hips at him before moving away to put her glass in the kitchen. Her hips were wider for her frame that they should have been, but he had come to find out she didn't give a damn. It wasn't her fault she was only four inches over five foot tall with hips for a heavier set woman. Her curves always had him wanting to reach out, trace them and feel her shiver under him. But he wanted more than that with her. It wasn't just her body he liked, it was her mind, her personality. Her "I don't give a flying fuck what you think I'm going to do what I fucking please."

Standing, he followed her to lean on the doorframe of the kitchen. "I'm off tonight, so I'll be around. You know where the key is if I lock the door to go out and run errands." She told him, walking back over to him.

"Hol?"

"Yeah?"

He pulled her close despite the mid-August heat and finally kissed her. Her lips were soft and tasted of the sweet tea they had been drinking. For a split second, she had stiffened in his grasp out of shock, but finally, she returned the kiss. He could feel her stand up on tip-toe to deepen it, wrapping her arms around his neck. Placing his hands on either side of her waist, he pulled her closer just a bit before breaking away. Cracking his eyes open a bit he watched as she licked her lips a bit before her clear hazel eyes opened.

"Well…that was…unexpected. I figured I'd have to make the first move." She whispered, smiling softly up at him.

"And wound my pride? No way." He replied, returning the smile. "Now I really have to go. See you when I get back."

Pulling away, he turned and made his way out of the house towards his truck. Whistling faintly, he had headed off to work. The day had dragged on, and he almost punched the air out of relief when he was allowed to go free. Sweat was pouring off of all the workers in sheets, and he was ready for a cool shower, the AC and a glass of Holly's amazing sweet tea. He almost sped back to her house, mind already on thoughts of what they could do that night to keep boredom at bay. Pulling up to her house and shutting off his truck, he spotted her own truck in the open garage. Walking in, he looked around for her, but only managed to find Sassy. The calico cat simply ignored him as he walked by, to busy napping in the shade.

Opening the door that lead into her laundry room, he poked his head in. "You home?" He called, waiting for an answer. None came. "Hey! Holly! I'm back!" Still, silence greeted him.

"Daryl? I'm back here!" Her voice floated to him from the back yard, and he closed the door to the cool house.

"What are you…" he trailed off, not knowing if he should laugh or suddenly take a cold shower. Holly was sprawled in a small, inflated kiddie pool. Her white bikini clung to her body, not see through as he had hoped it would be. "What on earth is that?" He asked, raising one eyebrow.

"A pool, duh."

"Where the fuck did it come from?"

"I bought it today at the store obviously. It's hotter than hell out here and I can't stand being trapped in the house so this seemed like the best way to solve my problem." She replied, grinning up at him.

"I see. So…room for one more?" He asked, feeling his own grin form.

"I got you trunks, in the house on the table." She winked at him, crossing her legs and tipping her head back. He had almost flown into the house to change, charging back out and pretending to leap into the pool on top of her. She squealed, flailing to get out of the way as he landed in the water. "Hey now! I was comfortable." She pouted, crossing her arms. Reaching up, he easily pulled her across his lap, laughing as she flailed around a bit to get situated.

"This feels so much better." He admitted, looking down at where she was sprawled across him. He couldn't help it, he slapped her ass.

"Ah! Hey now! Save that for later." She teased, winking at him.

That was another thing he grew to love about her as the months passed. She was always spontaneous. Nothing could ever be normal with her, and he always found it entertaining.

Daryl could recall their first Halloween just as clear as everything else, and he found himself actually smiling at the memory despite the grim world around him. He had worked later into the night, coming back to the house beat and ready to just get something to eat and head for bed. They had long since stopped sleeping in separate rooms, but nothing had happened between them yet. He knew she was nervous, having admitted to being with only one man before who had hurt her. But it didn't bother him, he was happy just to fall asleep and wake up to her in his arms. Granted, it wasn't all innocent things that happened between the sheets. They may not have had actual sex yet, but had gotten closer each time they fell into bed. She knew how to turn him on, knew every button to push to send him falling over the edge into bliss, and he knew hers. Knew how to make her beg for him, how to make her writhe and cry out his name. And he loved to use them, just as much as she did.

Reaching the house he had started calling home, he pulled his truck up behind hers and shut it off. The lights were burning, a sign she was still awake and waiting for him. The porch light was lit as well, letting the local kids know she was handing out candy to them. Kicking his boots off at the garage door, he made his way into the house through the laundry room. "I'm home!" He called, stopping at the sink to wash up. Instead of her usual reply, he didn't hear anything. He simply thought she hadn't heard him and made his way into the dining room. The table was littered with candy, and a few decorations they had picked out laughing while commenting on them. "Holly? What the hell's for dinner?" He called, raising an eyebrow at the cavity central scattered on the hardwood surface.

Something suddenly poked him a few times in the back, causing him to turn around. He choked on the very air he was breathing. Holly stood before him, grinning up at him, holding a pitchfork. Little red horns poked out from the top of her head, and something that looked like a red bikini top and a pair of tight, red shorts held up by a black belt were all she wore. He didn't know what to do, he could only stand there and stare at her as she watched him. Reaching out, she poked him once in the stomach. "You're what's for dinner." She giggled, dancing back out of his reach. He had let out a feral noise at that, charging after her as she gave a small scream as she fled towards their room, tossing her pitchfork as she did.

Cornering her in the room he watched as she laughed, always keeping just out of reach from him. He closed the door, watching her like he would a prized buck under one of his stands. She shifted, cocking one eyebrow at him and giving him a burning look. He shifted, just ever so faintly to the left. Like the true hunter he was, he was going to take his time and win this little game. Holly watched him, shifting to the opposite direction he was, ready to flee over the bed and back out the closed door. Faking a lunge towards her, he shifted halfway through it to catch her mid leap. She screamed, laughing as they landed hard on the bed. He rolled them, pinning her under him.

"So, what brought this on?" He asked, voice husky and rough. She calmed down a bit and shot him one of her famous "isn't it obvious?" looks.

"It's Halloween Daryl. A time to dress up and have fun." She pointed out.

"And that's what you chose to wear?"

"Yup, even went trick or treating with my friends at the local bars for charity. Gave all the candy and money to the local orphanage." She replied. He didn't know if he wanted to be mad at her for walking around dressed as little as she was in front of other men, or touched that she had done it selflessly for the kids. Instead, he kissed her. She easily returned it with the same passion, her arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer. He could feel her body heat under him, and knew she was feeling the same dark flames of want and lust that he was. She trembled faintly as well, gasping when he broke the kiss to lick at her exposed throat.

Pulling up a bit to look at her, he swallowed hard. "So, that line you said in the dining room?" He let it hang at that. Hands traced down his back, feeling memorized lines of muscle as they went. She didn't say anything, just tugged at his shirt as an answer.

It was almost dawn when they finally lay spent, tangled together in the sheets.-

A small, shaky sound escaped his throat as he remembered the night. But the best moment of his life was their second Christmas together.

-The holiday had never been a big deal to him ever in his life, but her family had welcomed him in with open arms, and he was treated as one of them. The day had been spent laughing, singing, eating and catching up. Her family opened presents after the large dinner was served, and Holly was being particularly secretive about everything that year. He had caught her whispering with her mother and watching him more than once, and he was starting to worry that he had something on him.

Finally the meal was over and they were clustered in the living room. Her Aunt was handing out the presents, and Daryl knew that they weren't allowed to start until all of them had been handed out. Slowly his pile grew, and he almost felt embarrassed at the lack of gifts he could give in return. But Holly had reassured him, as had most of the rest of the family that they understood, but he was still one of them. A small box was pressed into his hands as the final gift to be handed out. It was wrapped in plain paper, with a simple sticker reading that it was from Holly. He looked up, suddenly aware that everyone was watching him. Nervous, he tore the paper off with shaking fingers. The box was plain white, and he swallowed hard. What on earth could be so important that they all had to watch him?

Lifting the lid, he picked up the small package wrapped in tissue paper. He could feel Holly almost stop breathing next to him as he opened it to reveal a pacifier. Confusion suddenly rose within him for a moment as he stared at it. And then it sank in. Looking towards the woman next to him, he almost fainted. He couldn't say anything, could only hold the small object up as cameras flashed around them. She nodded, fighting a smile as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I found out last week." She whispered. He had hugged her then, full of joy and excitement.

Months flew by in a blur of hospital visits, work, and getting the house ready. Finally, Samantha Mae Dixon was born. Daryl had never held something so delicate, so precious before. She was perfect to him. Holly watched him, tired after the whole ordeal. "You're going to be a great Daddy." She whispered, voice faintly hoarse.

"With the best Momma by my side." He replied. "Holly?"

"Yeah?"

"I know that we're doing things ass backwards but, would you marry me?" He asked, looking up from the sleeping baby in his arms. Holly had swallowed, tearing up as she smiled.

"I will." -

Grief shot through him. The wedding had never happened. They were planning it for after Sam's second year so everything was settling back into what it had been. Daryl double over, finally letting the tears fall.

-When the infection had broken out, they had been safe at first in their backwoods home. But he had been in town, getting the latest news of what was going one when his world had shattered around him. The town was in ruins, people having fled and pillaged the place. But there was still one store that remained open, offering it's goods to him and the few other families that were trying to wait it all out. He had gathered what he had needed, and sped home faster than normal. Reaching the house, he instantly knew something was wrong. The front door that he had carefully locked behind him was in splinters.

Panic shot through him and he leapt from the tuck at the speed of light. Suddenly, he became all too aware that caution had to be taken. Holly was a hunter, just like he was. If she and Sam were in danger, she wouldn't hesitate to shoot. He couldn't just barge in half mad with worry. Slipping up the stairs, he almost gagged at the stench that filled the air of his home. Something dead was lying on the floor, it's face half gone and one of his arrows through it. That's when it fully slammed into him.

Throwing caution to the wind, he bound up the stairs. "HOLLY! SAM!" He called, jerking open closed doors. Reaching Sam's nursery, he found the door locked. "HOLLY! Babe let me in!" He pleaded, pounding on the solid wood. Relief shot through him as he heard the lock click.

"Daryl." She sobbed, opening the door. Sam was in her playpen, occupied with the little stuffed deer he had bought her a month ago. "I was so scared! They just, they broke open the door and I didn't know what to do. Sam was here taking a nap, so she's fine but, Daryl those things…" She trailed off, sobbing onto his shoulder.

"I know baby, I know. It's going to be ok. We'll pack and head out." He reassured her. He and Merle had already agreed to meet up that afternoon at a spot. "I'm here now, so calm down ok?" She nodded, swallowing. Taking a deep breath, he watched as she pulled herself together. "That's my girl. Now I'm going to head down to our room and pack a few things. Stay with Sam ok?"

"I will. Just, be careful." She begged him.

"I always am. Give me that, I'll need it out here ok?" He asked, taking the crossbow. She handed it over. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her softly, quickly. Stepping out of the room, he gently shut the door behind him and made his way towards the bedroom.

Reaching it, he looked around to check for the things. Nothing. It was like time had frozen in the room. The bed was made, Holly's book resting on her side, their night clothes in piles on it. Stepping in, he made his way over to the closet and pulled out their suitcases and a backpack he used for hunting. Throwing things hastily into them, he was doing a double check as the scream shattered the silence of the house, followed by the cries of Sam.

Abandoning the bags, Daryl flew down the hall to the open nursery door. Holly was backed against the playpen, appearing to be wrestling with one of the creatures. Sam was screaming her small head off in the arms of another. His blood froze in his veins as he watched his daughter fall silent at the hands of the thing. Holly was slowly fading, her movements weak. The pool of blood around her seeped towards him as he choked on his own air. Finally, he watched as she faded from the world. He became aware of screaming, slowly at first, but faster as the things turned to face him.

His rage outlasted them, taking them out one at a time before he fell to his knees. Holly's hand was outstretched, reaching for the unmoving body of Sam.-

He must have been screaming in reality, because he could hear footsteps pounding up to his tent. "Daryl!" It was her again. His tent door was ripped open and she was in front of him.

"What?" He spat, standing up.

"I heard you. I thought something was wrong."

"It's none of your goddamn business! Just fucking go! I don't want to fucking talk about the shit of my life!" He raged, stepping towards her. She moved backwards a bit, letting him step out to watch him.

"I'm not giving up on you. Not after everything that's happened to this group."

"Fuck this group. I was never one of you anyway."

"That's not true!"

"I don't give a damn. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. Besides, why are you so fucking determined? Huh?"

"I have my reasons Daryl."

"No, you don't. You just think you do. Am I right? You think you love me. Hell, for all I know you do. But get it through your head right now. I've been down that road, and I'm not taking it again. Not now, not ever. Give that shit up. I've had my chance to have a fucking perfect life and it didn't work. So go back to the others and just leave me be." He spat. She watched him, swallowing and shaking her head.

"I'm not giving up." She turned to leave.

"Carol, I don't care what you try. Know this, you'll never be better to me than her." With that, he turned and made his way back into his tent for another sleepless night.


End file.
